Senin, 19 Juli 2010
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Senin, 05 Juli 2010
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One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
The Most Popular Funny Jokes
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Funny birthday quotes aren't hard to find these days, because when it comes to getting older, there's always something to joke about. Having a sense of humor about your age can help to make birthdays a little easier to stomach. For example, here are some funny birthday quotes spoken by well-known comedians and celebrities:
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’.
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
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Did you know that cats are on the right or left, can operate up to 31 miles per hour, they love the food at room temperature (the temperature of freshly killed prey), with an area 150 acres, 30% spend their time waking, and every inch of your layer contains 150,000 hairs? You now. Some other facts about my cat. This is not my cat photo collection,
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